Hades’ Great Greek Librarian Giveaway

11 Nov

My dear, darling, delicious, delightful Librarians,

Hades here. Every now and millennium I like to make a deal with humans. I love humans. Really, I do. And there’s so much a god like me has to offer that could… improve your lives.

(I recently made a bargain with two seemingly deserving young ladies, Sharisse and Margaret wherein I reversed THEIR mistake in exchange for a petty service to me. I even threw in a posh apartment and a bottomless Visa card and positioned them to succeed–more than fair, don’t you think?

Well apparently, they’re “unsatisfied,” and have gotten an unscrupulous pair of authors to write an expose revealing the details of our agreement! I have to admit, it’s more than I EVER expected of them.

But being the beneficent, munificent and unbiased god that I am, I think you should judge for yourself and read Sirenz. Was I SO bad? Being that you are the most book-savvy and influential people who exist on this planet, I think you’ll be able to see the real victim here.)

So, I am hoping you might assist little old me.  These books have got me thinking there might be some wishes I could grant to the gods and goddesses of books, yes, you, The Librarians.  A new “market” for me, you might say.

Tell Hades what you want badly enough that you might be willing to spend just a single day as one of my Sirens and you could win a signed copy of Sirenz (that laughable “memoir”).

A teen room with a disco ball?
A stack of diamond-encrusted iPads?
A $30K  book budget?
A school full of raving readers?
A Soho spending spree?

Leave a comment below with your little wish, your name, and your library name and my minions will enter you to win one of 20 books.

P.S. I could really use a librarian in Tartarus. I promise you, it’d be the job of a lifetime(s).


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40 Responses to “Hades’ Great Greek Librarian Giveaway”

  1. sirenzmeg November 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

    Oh look–the Lord of Bad Puns strikes again…

  2. k8et November 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    I’ll play :P

    I would spend a day as a siren in exchange for a lifetime (mine) of paid salary (my current salary, with appropriate cost of living increases would do) without having to work ever again. Yup, that’s a high cost, but feathers (that aren’t attached to a boa) are NOT a look I’m willing to sport without serious compensation!

    (If I win, I’ll be gifting the book to a friend I was going to loan my copy to!)

    • hadesishaute November 12, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

      It’s nice for someone not to ask for immortality (you’re a mortal, accept it), great riches (why hasn’t humanity learned that money is the root of all evil?) or to be famous (read your tabloids; see the pics of stars without makeup in the grocery store?). I’m sure we can work out an acceptable deal…

      • k8et November 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm #

        My husband is working on the immortality part, singularity will be a game changer for your career :P

  3. megalibrarygirl November 11, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    I want minions. Lot of them. And animals to dance for me at my bidding. That’s all. Not asking much–as long as the animals can shelve books AND dance, that’s not asking much.

    I’m at the Jenna Welch Laura Bush Community Library. They call me Susan Barnum.

    • hadesishaute November 12, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

      Ahem, minions? You’re neither an immortal goddess or Donald Trump, so I’m wondering why you want them… And often they prove… difficult. Read the ‘memoirs’ of the trouble I had with Sharisse and Meg. But Susan, for my devotees, your wish is my command…. I’ll have the paperwork drawn up.

  4. Annie Curtis November 11, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    Me, Me , me, Me!!! Pleaz…
    Youth Services Librarian
    Gallatin Public Library

    • hadesishaute November 12, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

      My darling Annie, what am I offered? Less importantly, what do you want? Nothing comes without a price, but I’m sure human literature has taught you that… I’ll be waiting.

      • sirenzmeg November 13, 2011 at 12:18 am #

        “Price” being the operative word. You’re such a dog, Hades >:(

  5. Patrice Gottfried November 11, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

    I would like everyone to stop pronouncing that the book is dead. I believe the paper and the e-book can co-exist. Worth one day with you, o mighty one!

    • hadesishaute November 12, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

      Fear not, my delectable Patrice. Humans are so easily amused by new toys. This mindless fascination with technology will pass and once again they will want to feel the supple pages, visually devour the detailed illustrations, enjoy the weight of a book in their hand. (So much easier than scrolls.) And besides, they will always need an erudite, well-versed, bon vivant librarian such as yourself. And such excellent manners! Would that Margaret and Sharisse had such respect and adoration for moi.

      • sirenzmeg November 13, 2011 at 12:19 am #

        OK, for ONCE, maybe I agree with you. But just about the books. Adoration for you? ROFL…

  6. Peg Becksvoort November 12, 2011 at 2:50 am #

    I’d like to give each student in my school a copy of a favorite book signed by the author. It’s not too much to ask, is it?
    Could you send a little heat to Maine. My feet are cold.

    • hadesishaute November 12, 2011 at 10:43 pm #

      Alas smiling eyes Peg, a warm spell is out of my control (you have to address my brother, Zeus, but Demeter may be difficult.) The books are easy enough, provided that the author has not….crossed the River Styx. You know once in the Underworld, no one gets to leave, no matter what tale Margaret and Sharisse may conjour… But I shall send warming thoughts your way…

  7. Tracy November 12, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

    The stack of diamond-encrusted iPads would be a good start… But I actually want a whole collection of different e-readers and tablets for library demonstrations. And for me personally, a shopping spree sounds great (and a personal trainer so I can actually fit into the clothes I want to wear!). Is that too much to ask? :)

    • hadesishaute November 14, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

      Darling Tracy–too much? It’s never too much. Save the diamonds for your fabulous self. Hermes saw your request for a personal trainer and has put in for that job–but I have to warn you, he’s a little… obsessive when it comes to sports…

  8. hadesishaute November 12, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    Surely there must be a qualified librarian who salivates at the thought of an unlimited budget, complete control over the most extensive library ever to exist, and my utter devotion? Did I mention that you are free to roam the Elysian Fields and engage William Shakespeare, Virgil, Plato, Helen Keller, any literary or historical figure in conversation and debate? (However, you many not have contact with those who have passed to the less pleasant part of Tartarus. It’s for your own safety.) Now, who’s going to apply first?

    • sirenzmeg November 13, 2011 at 12:17 am #

      No. NO! Don’t listen to him! Sure, it all sounds so fab–and then you get whacked with the fine print!

      • hadesishaute November 13, 2011 at 12:21 am #

        Feeling jealous Margaret? >:) But glad you’re on board with the books–nothing better than a book one can hold and caress and…

  9. Muffin November 13, 2011 at 3:37 am #

    Since I have minions (ah, the joys- for me- of required community service for our high school), I’d be pleased as punch for David Draiman or Vin Diesel. Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth would be acceptable as well. Failing any of those, the restoration of my well loved and falling apart shoes. The platform peep-toe slingbacks with red piping and cherries on the toe.

    • hadesishaute November 14, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

      Sweet sweet Muffin, are your minions as troublesome as mine have been? We should get together and trade notes… Jareth is no problem–he and I see eye to eye on SO many things, but I shall have to sift through my contracts about the other two. And are these the shoes in question? http://www.polyvore.com/vivienne_westwood_for_melissa_lady/thing?id=28838099 Hmmmm… forbidden fruit shoes. So… tempting!

      • Muffin November 15, 2011 at 2:22 am #

        Wow, those are awesome shoes, as I add them to my want list. Not my favorites, but I’ll take them too! :) These are my favorites (in case anyone wondered of course…): http://www.flickr.com/photos/themuffinator/6346351632/ (and I totally did just happen to have a random photo of my favorite shoes…)

      • sirenzmeg November 17, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

        OK, am really loving those–where did you get? MUST find!

      • Muffin November 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

        Aren’t they fabulous?! Sadly, they aren’t available anymore. They’re by T.U.K. Shoes. I keep looking but they don’t make them anymore, I did get a similar pair that has polka dots on them though!

  10. Leslie Carloss November 14, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

    I would spend a day as a siren in exchange for a new school library (at least triple the size of my current one) with an unlimited budget for materials and an adjacent computer lab (at least 30 computers) with a presentation station. I would also like my salary to be tripled (haven’t had a raise in over 3 years). The ability to read a book a day would be amazing!

    Thanks so much!

    • hadesishaute November 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

      Dear, dear Leslie–I know what it’s like to be under-appreciated…

      I have many connections in government–and on the national level as well. It looks like I’m going to have to call in a few favors as so many librarians are being given such a hard time, which does not please me in the least. In the mean time, consider my want ad–time is a bit of a joke in Tartarus (as are calories and money…)

  11. kim christofferson November 14, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

    Anything free our teens love! Our librarian loves more!

    Kim Christofferson
    Garden Grove Regional Library
    Garden Grove, CA

    • hadesishaute November 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

      I love a good freebie, sweet Kim–but surely you want something for your wonderful self too? I always make sure to think of me.

      • sirenzmeg November 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

        Big surprise there, H

  12. Latricia Markle November 14, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Ooohh….I saw many great requests on these comments:
    Money, minnions, shoes, both selfless and selfish.

    For a day as a Siren my price would be dear…the ability to make all the cute shoes I lust after come in my size! and a teen room for my library which currently squeezes them between stacks on two measly tables. That Teen room would be required to come with a gaming center, one of those awesome audiobook/music stations with the speakers that aim the sound down at a specific spot, plenty of shelf space for our YA fiction, graphic novels, AND study space for those serious students.

    • hadesishaute November 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

      Dearest Latricia, Nothing for you would be too dear. I like the way you think–go for all of it. I definitely think we need to talk. And we’ll have to make sure that study section is well stocked with ancient history…

  13. Nancy A. Schummer November 15, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    Enough tickets to fill (with teens) our theatre showing the Hunger Games

    • sirenzmeg November 16, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

      I might actually have to have a chat with H about that one…

    • hadesishaute November 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

      Darling Nancy–I have PLENTY of Hollywood connections… and Margaret–REALLY?! Think you can put in a word with Sharisse for me?

  14. Kirsten Rundquist Corbett November 16, 2011 at 9:13 pm #

    I would spend a day as your siren in exchange for a Teen Center. (I would even consent to be your librarian in Tartarus for one day a week for eternity!) In our library, there is a small, but well-used teen area, which houses two tables w/chairs and all of the YA fiction and graphic novels. I would love to have a center where the teen books, CDs, DVDs, gaming equipment, etc. could live and be enjoyed by teens in normal teen fashion, without disturbing those who will always be disturbed by teens being themselves. Our town has no community center at all. Nor does it have a senior center. I would be more than happy to run a teen/senior center, as the two groups rarely visit at the same time, in the lot directly across the street from the library, as an extension of the library proper. Teens are often underserved, and the fight to change that is often more than a mere mortal librarian can handle.

    • sirenzmeg November 17, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

      Eep! Careful Kirsten! From what I understand–a day in Tartarus is a loooooooooong time! But all that stuff sounds so cool…

  15. ABC November 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Monsieur H,

    If I’m going to spend a day w/ one of your Sirens I would think that you could be generous enough to become a lifetime (yours!) benefactor of the our library (no stings attached beyond the single day of service – there will be lots of fine print in the contract). This generosity would spark a red-hot make-over over, including the fulfillment of all of my vendor wishlists (technology, books, databases, furniture, etc.), star-studded programs and author visits to entice even the most reluctant of readers, a designer wardrobe for moi, marketing and design work with up-and-coming photographers, graphic designers and web developers, professional membership dues and conference fees for me and my new support staff, and modest budgets for our bookclubs and student advisory board.

    PHS looks forward to your perpetual giving!

    Au revoir,
    A. B. C.
    Teacher Librarian
    Plattsmouth High School – Home of the Blue Devils;)
    Plattsmouth, NE


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